To my children's birth mom,
Tomorrow is a big day for our family, a day that is made
possible because of you. Tomorrow we will pack our little family of five into
our minivan, drive downtown, walk through the court house and hear the judge
legally declare your children to be ours. You do not know this is happening
tomorrow. You only received a letter in the mail about a month ago that said these
children will never be yours. I cannot even imagine the hurt, disappointment,
and anger you felt as you read these words.
While we’ll be celebrating, we know that your heart will be
aching. We know that you will be wishing
hard that these special children were sleeping under your roof tonight, that
you’ll hear their laughter as you clean up breakfast in the morning, and that
you were there to squeeze them tight with your hugs.
While we celebrate tomorrow and while the judge reads that “henceforth
these children will have a new last name”, our hearts will be aching to. Every adoption
story has loss and for our kids, that loss is you. Our hearts will ache for the
loss of you in their life.
I’m not sure if you’ll ever read this, but I want you to
know that while our kids cannot be with you, we plan to do our best to keep you
in their hearts forever. We will remind
our little red head that he has your hair and our little blonde that her eyes
are from her birth mom. We promise to do
our best to love these children with the deepest love we can possibly give. We’ll
do everything we can to meet their physical needs, emotional needs and
spiritual needs.
When they ask about you, we will remind them again and again
that you loved them first. You loved them before we even knew about them. You loved them to give them the greatest gift you could have ever given them: the gift of life even when every other possible circumstance in your life was most likely
telling you to abort them.
When they ask us if you loved them, we will tell them about
the many visits you attended just to hold them in your arms. We will tell them about the gifts you gave
them at holidays and the way you attended court hearing after court hearing fighting
as hard as you could for these children.
We are not sure what is in the future for our relationship
with you. We know right now that it is best for our children not to see you and
for us not to communicate with you, but if circumstances change in the future,
we are open to a different relationship.
You are and always will be a part of our family, just maybe a part that
we talk about, respect, and love from a distance.
Thank you for loving these precious kids. Thank you for
choosing to give them life. Thank you for sacrificing more than anyone will
ever know for them. We love you and are
so thankful for you.
-Your precious children’s
adoptive mom.
2 comments:
When it first became more apparent we were likely going to be able to adopt Lauren I struggled deeply with this same thing. I knew that us getting to keep her meant that someone else was going to lose her. As hard as I wished for us to be able to adopt her I also felt guilty about wanting it. I've been able to really give the conflict to God and feel a lot more at peace about it in my heart. I know that it's all part of his plan and He is in control.
It's a beautifully written letter and while I am rejoicing with you at the adoption I am also praying for the birth mom. I hope some days she does get to read this so she will know just how important she is in your life and how loved her children are.
This is beautiful and I completely understand your sentiment for when and if she will be in your life....it's certainly a complicated process. Happy Adoption Day! On another note.....I recognize your banner and realized something I googled in the last few months must have brought me by your blog...although I don't remember what it was. :) -Kelly
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